Swallowing of the Thanksgiving Meal
by Nejibana57
Summary: A one-shot fanfic about Byakuya's first time cooking and carving a turkey.


Byakuya had dispersed Renji and Rukia to travel to the world of the living to purchase three turkeys for the Kuchiki Thanksgiving meal. He even put an ad in the SMA and the SWA newsletter to acquire some help with the carving. This Thanksgiving meal was going to be different as Byakuya himself was going to cook and carve the turkeys; of course with some outside help with the carvings. Renji and Rukia returned with the three turkeys that they had purchased. Finally, Thanksgiving Day had arrived and it was time to cook the turkeys. Renji and Rukia helped the cook staff prepare the other trimmings to the meal. Though, Rukia was somewhat worried about how the turkeys were going to turn out.

Byakuya was in the kitchen and one of the turkeys was already done; with two more still in the oven pit cooking. Byakuya's temple started hurting which could only mean one thing; or better yet, one person-Kenpachi.

"What do you have there, noble captain?" Kenpachi inquisitively asked.

"You dap fool, what does it look like; or is your brain so small you cannot tell?" Byakuya irritably responded.

"What did you just say?"

"What do you want Kenpachi?"

"Seems like you need some help carving that thing. May I suggest my service to such a noble captain?"

Byakuya thought about for a minute and decided it couldn't hurt. He if wondered if Kenpachi had read the ad in the newsletter...probably not, Byakuya surmised. He also thought it would beat having it to do himself. "Go ahead."

Kenpachi reached for Nozarashi to slice the turkey, when Byakuya screamed, "What are you doing fool?"

"Something wrong with your eyes, noble captain?" Kenpachi asked. Kenpachi was about to use his zanpakuto to slice the turkey when Nozarashi swallowed the whole thing.

Byakuya released his spiritual pressure so immensely, that everyone in the manor, fell quickly to their knees-excluding Renji and Rukia. "What in the hell did you do to my turkey, you fool?"

"How was I to know it was going to do that..." Kenpachi replied looking innocently.

Byakuya couldn't believe what Kenpachi, just had done. " Tell me, what is the release command of your zanpakuto?"

"Swallow..."

"GET OUT OF MY HOME! OUT!" Byakuya screamed. He was so angry that his face was red like cranberry sauce. Now I only have two turkeys left, well I will just have to slice them really thin, Byakuya mumbled to himself.

Two hours past and another turkey was ready to be carved. Byakuya again attempted to carve the turkey, when he received another visitor who offered to do the carving for him.

"How is it that you knew I was cooking Thanksgiving dinner?" Byakuya absentmindedly asked.

"Besides being in the newsletter, I make it my business to know what's going on around the Soul Society." Soi Fong replied, not being bothered by Byakuya's apparent intimidation. "I could offer my assistance and slice that for you Captain Kuchiki."

"Well go ahead." Byakuya replied; anything had to be better than what Kenpachi had done.

Soi Fong used her Suzemabachi to slice the turkey. However, Byakuya looked over at the turkey and almost passed out. There laid the turkey with black Homonka's all over it.

"What have you done to my turkey?" Byakuya yelled.

"What do you mean?" Soi Fong asked, not realizing what she had done to the turkey by using Suzemabachi.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Byakuya yelled again with a scratchy voice from all that screaming. What is wrong with these idiots, he thought. About that time, the ringer went off on the last turkey; signaling it was done. Someone else entered into the home and offered to carve his turkey.

"I'm here to carve the turkey, Byakuya." the person said.

"Now, what do you think you can do? All the other turkeys are beyond eatable; and you think you can do better? Do you actually think I am going to let you mess up my last turkey?"

"Come now, Byakuya; you know I am skilled at this." the person insisted.

"No! Now leave before I make you leave." Byakuya threatened.

However, the person paid Byakuya no mind and quickly passed him. The turkey was carved without imperfections. "See, I told you I could do it! Isn't it just purrrrfectttttttttt?!


End file.
